TRIGGER WARNING: In this newsletter I will be talking about my history with unhealthy eating behaviors and obsessing over weight, so if that´s isn’t for you, please click away. No judgement here.🧡
Traveling back to 2012, little Janika was insecure and had no idea that her first gym visit with her dad would be a situation she’s going to look back to 13 years later.
My very first gym selfie (which wasn’t a thing back then) in 2014.
I started to join my dad in the gym because I was doing cheerleading at that time and have been confronted with “being too heavy to continue flying” (aka the position on the top of a stunt).
As a 15 year old which hadn’t had any self confidence at all, that was the beginning of a very strange episode in my life of questioning why “everyone else seems to do nothing for their physique and I am getting too heavy to do something I started to love“. So I did some googling, asked around and finally forced my dad to take me to the gym with him (which he used as a rehabilitation facility for his back pain), to start training for 3 months and loose 10kg fast – was what I thought would happen.
Fast forward to two years later – nothing happened.
Nothing a beginner could notice though. I did the same exercises I always did (like the trainer and my dad who didnt know any better showed me), incorporated some running and was making sure to eat: Almost nothing. I heard I need to watch my calories with all the training I did (3-4x/week EXTRA SESSIONS to 3-4 cheerleading sessions at this point).
I was devastated and found a program by a VERY famous Insta-model (because in 2014 the Instagram Fitness Bubble started to explode). Fast forward I forced my mom to buy that for me VERY EXPENSIVE program + diet instruction via credit card (because I was 16/17ish, no income, no credit card; 100€ was an investment).
What did the program say? Workout 4x/week (HIIT trainings aka High Intensity Intervall Trainings, exclusively!), eat 1500 calories and do LISS (low intensity steady state aka go walking). What do you think how successful was I with that program? You got it right: I wasn’t!
The workouts were waaaay to intense for me (they included a lot of conditioning/jumping exercises that I wasn’t used to) and had a VERY high volume, aka a lot of exercises. It also got me strangely obsessed with the not Germany-friendly recipes (because the creator was from Australia) and a strange sense of what I am allowed and what not. It didn´t teach movement proficiency or the necessity for enough calories even in a deficit at all. So I not only didn´t loose any weight, I also didn´t eat enough anymore and felt lost.
What would Ive told 15 year old Janika back then? Well first of all, your weight change came from hormonal issues, but that´s a story for another time. Start to workout with structure and find goals in training so you do it with a purpose that actually motivates you.
Now, I am happier than ever, look at my weight as an indication and really enjoy what I do in the gym. It´s my me-time, where I focus on not only my physical health. For me, it´s like a playground for adults!
How did you like my little time travel? Would you like to know how my journey continued and how I got to the point where I am right now?
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